Grieving with Hope

But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about those who have died, so that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have died. For this we declare to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will by no means precede those who have died.

—1 Thessalonians 4:13-15

For to me, living is Christ and dying is gain. If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me; and I do not know which I prefer. I am hard pressed between the two: my desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better; but to remain in the flesh is more necessary for you. Since I am convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with all of you for your progress and joy in faith, so that I may share abundantly in your boasting in Christ Jesus when I come to you again. 

—Philippians 1:21-26

So we are always confident; even though we know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord – for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we do have confidence, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him. For all of us must appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each may receive recompense for what has been done in the body, whether good or evil. 

—2 Corinthians 5:6-10

Reading the Book of Psalms I realize it is filled with expressions of lament. David cries out to God in heart-wrenching detail, describing his grief, sorrow and regret, and through his agony and his questioning of God and the resulting deepening of his faith, we see that grief with hope strengthens our faith. For example, Psalm 22 begins

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?  
Why are you so far from helping me, from the words of my groaning?
O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer;    
and by night, but find no rest. Psalm 22:1-2

Twenty-five verses later the psalmist expresses praise saying,

All the ends of the earth shall remember    
and turn to the Lord;
and all the families of the nations    
shall worship before him.
For dominion belongs to the Lord,    
and he rules over the nations. Psalm 22:27-28

He praises God, worships God and continues to trust God through his grief and his faith grows. He does not ignore grief or try to avoid it; rather, he experiences it fully and grows closer to God through it, recognizing that God is really who He claims to be – God is fully trustworthy, all powerful and He has absolute authority.

So long as we live in this broken world, we will be exposed to grief.  Even the sinless One grieved. As He encountered people mourning the death of His close friend Lazarus, Jesus wept (see John 11:35). He knew that Lazarus would soon rise from the tomb, yet He wept with others who suffered. Hope in the future revelation of God’s glory through the situation did not remove His pain, but it certainly altered it.  

David groans in agony. He feels abandoned by God while writing the words that Jesus quotes shortly before breathing His last breath, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Psalm 22:1, Matthew 27:46). Lament is part of the human condition.

Recognizing this, Paul writes to friends in Thessalonica specifically addressing grief in response to the death of loved ones. He writes to explain the concept of grieving with hope to his friends. Christ Jesus, through His death and resurrection, is the source of our hope. We know that He conquered death. We know that He is the source of life. We know that He offers His holy, loving grace abundantly to everyone, and we know that through Christ Jesus, when we leave our earthly bodies we will instantly be with our Lord.

Each of the three passages first quoted above indicates this conclusion. First, “through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have died” (1 Thessalonians 4:14). Through Jesus, God brings each believer who dies to Him before those who are left on earth. Second, as Paul writes to friends in Philippi he agonizes over whether he desires to continue living on earth where he can help others, or to die and be instantly with Christ Jesus in glory, writing “I am hard pressed between the two: my desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better; but to remain in the flesh is more necessary for you” (Philippians 1:23-24). When he departs the body he will be with Christ Jesus. Third, Paul indicates once again that we are either in the body or with the Lord, without any intervening step, saying, “Yes, we do have confidence, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord” (2 Corinthians 5:8).

So we grieve and we should grieve because grieving is part of the healing process, but we grieve knowing that our loved ones are with our Lord and we know that when it is our time to leave our earthly bodies we will be with them forever. We know this and this is one of the pillars of our hope. While hope in the future revelation of God’s glory does not remove the pain, it alters it, which is why Paul urges his readers to grieve, but not as those who have no hope.     

Hope is knowing with certainty that something will happen. It is absolute confidence that the future event will occur. Its like buying a ticket to the big game and knowing that the ticket will, at the appointed time, grant you entrance to the stadium and access to a seat waiting for you and you will be able to experience the event. Before you walk into the stadium you have hope, the certainty that it will happen.

And so we grieve with confidence, certainty and hope. We grieve our loss, knowing with full confidence that our loved ones are basking in God’s glory. We grieve because we miss them and we are left struggling through the new reality of life without them and we miss their voice and their smell and our interaction with them. We grieve in the vacuum of the world they left behind, experiencing holes once filled by them. We grieve our loss, but we know with certainty that they are basking in God’s glory, so we grieve with hope.

And following David’s example, we ask “why?” We know that God has all power in heaven and on earth. We know that He can do anything and everything. We know He is the author of life, breathing the breath of life into each of us. We have experienced Him hearing our prayers and reaching into our realm and helping us in response to our prayers. He is sovereign, with power beyond our ability to imagine, and angels and demons and all creation are subject to His authority. Based on our faith, trust and confidence in who He is, it is natural to ask “why?” Why did He not reach into our realm and prevent our loved one’s death?

Jesus promises that people who mourn receive God’s special blessing, saying, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:4). As you grieve, seek God. He promises that when we sincerely seek Him we will find Him (see Matthew 7:7). As you mourn, may you receive His comfort, may you grow closer to Him, may you grow in faith, and may God’s glory continue to be revealed through you.